Thank you Amy. I’ve been feeling this a lot lately. As a childless, single woman with no childless and/or single friends, I’ve justified my existence by working. I feel embarrassed complaining while they’re raising babies and husbands, and so I work a bit more.
But I’m tired. Aren’t we all a bit tired? I would love a break from my ‘real job’ so that I could dedicate time to ALL THE OTHER THINGS. How brilliant you have the opportunity to do this 💫👏
Thank you so much for this - I feel really similarly sometimes. I spent 7ish years trying, and ultimately failing, to have a baby. I gave that up about a year ago, and am now steeling myself to ask my employer for a 2 month (unpaid) sabbatical. I just want a bit of space, now that I’m off that particular treadmill. I will find it galling if they say no: given that, if I had been successful, they would have given me 6 months on full pay.
And yet, and yet. There are so many types of caring and being that we don’t support. My mum was freelance when she had me (so had no maternity leave/pay). When she was trying to care for her mum with dementia, alongside her work, she often said she wished she could have “banked” some of those maternity benefits and used them for this other - equally important - form of care.
As you say, mat leave isn’t a “privilege” - it’s just one of the only ways our laws and working practices recognise the reality of human existence. And even then, it is meagre compared to the actual need.
As ever, thanks for putting these thoughts out there so that they may resonate. Enjoy your break!
you're so right about caring. My friend Bryony reminded me this morning that Marxist feminist theory would argue that parental leave essentially supports the reproduction of wage labour - it has capitalist motives. Caring for others however isn't going to create a future workforce so its ignored or pushed to the margins. I hope your sabbatical happens and gives you what you need <3
I do feel like it would be beneficial but if not a sabbatical why not a more flexible working pattern where you can work four days have a fifty for a dream or hobby and then the weekend?
I worked 4 days weeks after mat leave with my first son and it was easy enough to justify that I wanted to spend time with my son and I had thoughts of why didn’t I do this sooner? Would work have let me do it before kids, with just a desire to write a novel for example. Of course now I have kids and not a lot of
work I look like I am on a perpetual break but I promise you if I could take a sabbatical from this “job” then I would, too! 😂
yes absolutely! My employer supports flexible working and not just for parents, which I've really appreciated. Its certainly something I hope to do myself in future.
Thank you Amy. I’ve been feeling this a lot lately. As a childless, single woman with no childless and/or single friends, I’ve justified my existence by working. I feel embarrassed complaining while they’re raising babies and husbands, and so I work a bit more.
But I’m tired. Aren’t we all a bit tired? I would love a break from my ‘real job’ so that I could dedicate time to ALL THE OTHER THINGS. How brilliant you have the opportunity to do this 💫👏
yeah I feel so lucky and I wish everyone regardless of their status had the opportunity to do it!
Thank you so much for this - I feel really similarly sometimes. I spent 7ish years trying, and ultimately failing, to have a baby. I gave that up about a year ago, and am now steeling myself to ask my employer for a 2 month (unpaid) sabbatical. I just want a bit of space, now that I’m off that particular treadmill. I will find it galling if they say no: given that, if I had been successful, they would have given me 6 months on full pay.
And yet, and yet. There are so many types of caring and being that we don’t support. My mum was freelance when she had me (so had no maternity leave/pay). When she was trying to care for her mum with dementia, alongside her work, she often said she wished she could have “banked” some of those maternity benefits and used them for this other - equally important - form of care.
As you say, mat leave isn’t a “privilege” - it’s just one of the only ways our laws and working practices recognise the reality of human existence. And even then, it is meagre compared to the actual need.
As ever, thanks for putting these thoughts out there so that they may resonate. Enjoy your break!
you're so right about caring. My friend Bryony reminded me this morning that Marxist feminist theory would argue that parental leave essentially supports the reproduction of wage labour - it has capitalist motives. Caring for others however isn't going to create a future workforce so its ignored or pushed to the margins. I hope your sabbatical happens and gives you what you need <3
I do feel like it would be beneficial but if not a sabbatical why not a more flexible working pattern where you can work four days have a fifty for a dream or hobby and then the weekend?
I worked 4 days weeks after mat leave with my first son and it was easy enough to justify that I wanted to spend time with my son and I had thoughts of why didn’t I do this sooner? Would work have let me do it before kids, with just a desire to write a novel for example. Of course now I have kids and not a lot of
work I look like I am on a perpetual break but I promise you if I could take a sabbatical from this “job” then I would, too! 😂
yes absolutely! My employer supports flexible working and not just for parents, which I've really appreciated. Its certainly something I hope to do myself in future.
This is a wonderful read, Amy. Have pledged.
that's so kind, thank you Max!
as ever this is full of typos! I can only apologise, details are not my forte!