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Becci Phasey's avatar

Thank you Amy. I’ve been feeling this a lot lately. As a childless, single woman with no childless and/or single friends, I’ve justified my existence by working. I feel embarrassed complaining while they’re raising babies and husbands, and so I work a bit more.

But I’m tired. Aren’t we all a bit tired? I would love a break from my ‘real job’ so that I could dedicate time to ALL THE OTHER THINGS. How brilliant you have the opportunity to do this 💫👏

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Emily Stella Andrews's avatar

Thank you so much for this - I feel really similarly sometimes. I spent 7ish years trying, and ultimately failing, to have a baby. I gave that up about a year ago, and am now steeling myself to ask my employer for a 2 month (unpaid) sabbatical. I just want a bit of space, now that I’m off that particular treadmill. I will find it galling if they say no: given that, if I had been successful, they would have given me 6 months on full pay.

And yet, and yet. There are so many types of caring and being that we don’t support. My mum was freelance when she had me (so had no maternity leave/pay). When she was trying to care for her mum with dementia, alongside her work, she often said she wished she could have “banked” some of those maternity benefits and used them for this other - equally important - form of care.

As you say, mat leave isn’t a “privilege” - it’s just one of the only ways our laws and working practices recognise the reality of human existence. And even then, it is meagre compared to the actual need.

As ever, thanks for putting these thoughts out there so that they may resonate. Enjoy your break!

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