You hit nails on heads every time you publish something Amy. Hitting 60 [for me, in 12 years], outrages me and offends me too! How the heck did it come to this where "this" = me surveying what I can only describe as the smouldering remains of what I thought, even vaguely, life would be like at this age. I am no longer married, I am still a renter, I spent 22 years working in IT only to be left on the shitheap where "women in tech" go to wither and die after a redundancy. And those are just the top three discombobulating realities I am grappling with.
In parallel, life has also spotlit its randomness with a level of HDR-level of detail that has left me emotionally high at sea. I know of someone who ended his life at Dignitas on Friday, after a six-month battle with terminal cancer. He leaves behind a young wife and two tiny daughters who won't remember him. He was younger than us. There is this just-out-of-focus sense, within me, that something truly thrilling should happen now, so that I make the most of the time I have left, although I have no idea what that is or where to find it.
When I feel humorously inclined [which isn't super-often as I am a VIRGO and we are terribly pragmatic and critical, particularly of ourselves], I tell myself that hey, nobody told me it would be like this. I want my money back. Then I put my head down and go back to the grindstone which, currently, is making animated videos but the internal chatter remains non-stop. Talking of which, I would like to show you my "ageism in the workplace" which is certainly connected to several of the feelings that emerge, for me, in this post of yours.
Look forward to your next despatch on here, although I promise I will not fire back another response-of-doom. I am just trying, very inarticulately, to validate you, haha! Hugs! SX
You got me here: “There is this just-out-of-focus sense, within me, that something truly thrilling should happen now, so that I make the most of the time I have left, although I have no idea what that is or where to find it.” I have idea either, and it’s frustrating the hell out of me!
I’m also 46. Hadn’t actually thought about the maths there, so…er..thanks for that! Now, I won’t be able to not think about it 🤣
I want a pause too. I’ve been thinking a lot about a sabbatical. 3-6 months where I can pursue personal projects, self-development, etc. Naturally, my employer only offers this unpaid 😒
I am also interested in mid books about women who are childfree by choice.
I just finished on all fours at 29 years old and it was thrilling and honestly, exactly what I needed too (as a wee girl haha)! Thanks for the recommendations - these books give me strange hope for girls that we won’t end up walking around with ring lights attached to our heads and instead maybe tear life wide open and eat whatever we find inside.
I am almost finished All Fours and at 44 and feeling very mid it was exactly what I too needed. I don’t have any reccs for similar but will message when I do.
I’ve recently turned 40 and… I was not ‘scared’, but I still feel I want a ‘pause’ period before what they call ‘mid-life’ starts.
Thank you for sharing all those recommendations!
Here are a couple from me (looking at women in mid-life, from past decades, so, yes, some aspects might not resonate at all, others have not really changed…):
Ilyrian Spring, by Anne Bridge
Someone at a distance, by Dorothy Whipple
& a more modern one (including mid-life women with no children, which I also need among the pages): A glorious freedom, older women leading extraordinary lives, Ed. by Lisa Congdon.
Your line about being in midlife and wanting to create an interval really spoke to me. You summed up exactly how I'm feeling.
I'm 52, my son's are leaving to go to University and I feel as though life is speeding past me on fast forward. I just want to take a big, bloody pause and regroup.
Loved Wayward, which I wrote about on my Substack a few weeks ago. I am also looking for good recs, and am looking forward to getting my hands on All Fours. I have seen 'I'm mostly here to enjoy myself' by Glynis MacNicol recommended elsewhere, which is a memoir, though haven't yet read it.
And now I am 67 ... finding there is little that celebrates the joy - this moment of suspense before the fall - which is the best bit of my life so far
You hit nails on heads every time you publish something Amy. Hitting 60 [for me, in 12 years], outrages me and offends me too! How the heck did it come to this where "this" = me surveying what I can only describe as the smouldering remains of what I thought, even vaguely, life would be like at this age. I am no longer married, I am still a renter, I spent 22 years working in IT only to be left on the shitheap where "women in tech" go to wither and die after a redundancy. And those are just the top three discombobulating realities I am grappling with.
In parallel, life has also spotlit its randomness with a level of HDR-level of detail that has left me emotionally high at sea. I know of someone who ended his life at Dignitas on Friday, after a six-month battle with terminal cancer. He leaves behind a young wife and two tiny daughters who won't remember him. He was younger than us. There is this just-out-of-focus sense, within me, that something truly thrilling should happen now, so that I make the most of the time I have left, although I have no idea what that is or where to find it.
When I feel humorously inclined [which isn't super-often as I am a VIRGO and we are terribly pragmatic and critical, particularly of ourselves], I tell myself that hey, nobody told me it would be like this. I want my money back. Then I put my head down and go back to the grindstone which, currently, is making animated videos but the internal chatter remains non-stop. Talking of which, I would like to show you my "ageism in the workplace" which is certainly connected to several of the feelings that emerge, for me, in this post of yours.
https://www.linkedinfamous.co.uk/videos-2-2/v/on-ageism-in-the-workplace
Look forward to your next despatch on here, although I promise I will not fire back another response-of-doom. I am just trying, very inarticulately, to validate you, haha! Hugs! SX
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend
Sorry to hear about your friend. That is so sad 😞
You got me here: “There is this just-out-of-focus sense, within me, that something truly thrilling should happen now, so that I make the most of the time I have left, although I have no idea what that is or where to find it.” I have idea either, and it’s frustrating the hell out of me!
I so know the feeling [...obviously, haha!!].
absolutely not using this as an excuse to plug my podcast, but... you'll find loads and loads of midlife reading inspo there. Plus the interview with MJ has been huge x https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-shift-on-life-after-40-with-sam-baker/id1527442768?i=1000655492122
thank you! I am going to dive in x
The Wayward author Dana Spiotta is interviewed here too https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-shift-on-life-after-40-with-sam-baker/id1527442768?i=1000554031394 (I'll leave you in peace now!)
Im in the midst of listening to Arrangements in Blue… astonishingly good!
A few midlife book recs - I’m Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself by Glynnis MacNicol, Lioness by Emily Perkins, Hagitude by Sharon Blackie.
thanks so much! I’ll look these up
I’m also 46. Hadn’t actually thought about the maths there, so…er..thanks for that! Now, I won’t be able to not think about it 🤣
I want a pause too. I’ve been thinking a lot about a sabbatical. 3-6 months where I can pursue personal projects, self-development, etc. Naturally, my employer only offers this unpaid 😒
I am also interested in mid books about women who are childfree by choice.
I just finished on all fours at 29 years old and it was thrilling and honestly, exactly what I needed too (as a wee girl haha)! Thanks for the recommendations - these books give me strange hope for girls that we won’t end up walking around with ring lights attached to our heads and instead maybe tear life wide open and eat whatever we find inside.
I am almost finished All Fours and at 44 and feeling very mid it was exactly what I too needed. I don’t have any reccs for similar but will message when I do.
Hello, loved it!
I’ve recently turned 40 and… I was not ‘scared’, but I still feel I want a ‘pause’ period before what they call ‘mid-life’ starts.
Thank you for sharing all those recommendations!
Here are a couple from me (looking at women in mid-life, from past decades, so, yes, some aspects might not resonate at all, others have not really changed…):
Ilyrian Spring, by Anne Bridge
Someone at a distance, by Dorothy Whipple
& a more modern one (including mid-life women with no children, which I also need among the pages): A glorious freedom, older women leading extraordinary lives, Ed. by Lisa Congdon.
I also want a pause!
Big yes to child free stories in this vain too! Child free women's narratives are missing so often. When/If you find any please share. 🙏🏻
Your line about being in midlife and wanting to create an interval really spoke to me. You summed up exactly how I'm feeling.
I'm 52, my son's are leaving to go to University and I feel as though life is speeding past me on fast forward. I just want to take a big, bloody pause and regroup.
Loved Wayward, which I wrote about on my Substack a few weeks ago. I am also looking for good recs, and am looking forward to getting my hands on All Fours. I have seen 'I'm mostly here to enjoy myself' by Glynis MacNicol recommended elsewhere, which is a memoir, though haven't yet read it.
And now I am 67 ... finding there is little that celebrates the joy - this moment of suspense before the fall - which is the best bit of my life so far